Today was a heavy day. And yet it was a really good day and I’m really relieved at the end of it.

You Are Here!

Today I finally made space to just be present with some things that I’ve been trying like crazy NOT to feel. And they were uncomfortable…but, as it turns out, they weren’t nearly as uncomfortable as the frantic state I was in while I was trying to avoid them!

And the thing that made the biggest difference…  today in being able to just sit and breathe and be present and feel them is this:

I finally acknowledged that where I am now is exactly right and this is just where I’m supposed to be.

You see, for weeks now, I’ve been reflecting on and processing some very difficult events that happened in November. And I’ve been saying that I should be “over them” by now – that this moping about is just silly – that it wasn’t even that bad…and on and on.

Yet when I looked at how my life is feeling to me right now, I had to admit to myself that I’m really not coping very well these days.

You can ask my husband! I’ve had a “hair trigger” lately and I seem to be just inches away from anger at any given moment. I get overwhelmed easily and I’m way more exhausted than usual and I seem to need or just want a LOT of sleep.

And when I finally gave myself full permission to be right here, not over it yet at all, it became so very clear that there’s a part of me still feeling really traumatized by these events and needing time and space for healing to occur.

I suddenly had way more compassion for the me that’s been bitchy and angry and exhausted because of a healing process that I was making silly and wrong.

And this opportunity to honour and address what’s real in my heart always feels sacred to me and I find I’m able to rest in it.

Even though feeling this stuff was just a little bit “icky” at first, I’m so relieved to finally be getting what I need, and not pushing myself to be somewhere I’m just not yet.

So today I’d like to offer you the gift of knowing the incredibly perfect and sacred “rightness” of exactly where you are right now.

What’s going on under the surface that you’ve been telling yourself “shouldn’t” be there? Take a moment and breathe with it and give yourself full permission to be right where you are now, whatever that means to you.

And, just for a little while at least, stop pushing yourself to be “farther ahead” or somewhere different and see how delicious this feels.

And then do it some more! = >

You might also like these:

1. Breathing What’s Here
2. All Your Great Evidence is Behind You
3. Where Were You in 1988?