The Myth of “I don’t feel like it” (Part I)

I’ve been watching a particularly subtle but aggressive form of resistance in myself over the last week or so.

It’s the dreaded “I don’t feel like it” fog. Do you ever get that?

I’ve been studying it for a while now and I’ve come to the conclusion that it  starts at the crossroads of deep caring and emotional need.

Today we’re going to talk about the caring in Part I, and I’ll show you what I mean about the need in Part II.

So why would caring about something lead to not wanting to do it?

When we care a lot about what we’re doing, we don’t want to put any negative energy or emotions into it. We don’t want to “mess it up”.

I think more and more of us are understanding that the energy we put into things matters and that it actually is felt by others when our creations go out into the world.

And this applies just as much to stuff no one will ever see, like practicing our music at home. The key is – we want it to be GOOD.

So when I sit down at my computer to write a blog post, and I just had a snarky exchange with my husband, well, I don’t want to put any of THAT in my writing. I’m just sure you’ll all feel it!

So in order to put my best work out into the world and share the “right” kind of energy, I’ll be kind to everyone and keep my snarky energy to myself and wait until I’m feeling better to do this. (Which is probably why I didn’t post for 3 weeks!)

So this is really a loving impulse….until your resistance gets a hold of it!

The minute you set up a standard around an action that says you only want to put “good” energy into it, and therefore you’ll do it only when you feel  “good”, you leave the door wide open for your resistance.

Because now, all it has to do to stop you from doing something, is make sure you don’t feel “good”.

And we have to remember that our unconscious safety brain, where our resistance comes from, has control of our thoughts and emotions first, before our conscious brain has anything to say about it. So if your resistance thinks your next action might take you a little out of your comfort zone, it just pulls up a little negative emotion and Voila – action thwarted!

So how do we get around this?

Have you ever watched a child change emotions in about 2 seconds? They can be in full out tantrum one second and then in total wonder over something that caught their eye in the next.

We all have the ability to do that. I was once given an assignment by my teacher to conjure up the states of joy, sadness, fear, anger, grief, anxiety – as many different ones as I could think of in just a few minutes. (She dared us to do it, actually, and I’m always spurred on by a good dare!) And it worked. I had WAY more conscious control over my emotional states than I ever imagined.

I remembered that exercise this past week, watching the “I don’t feel like it” fog roll in and out. So I made a big decision…

I decided that from now on I’m going to choose the state that matches my task, instead of choosing the task that matches my state.

Read that again.

Choose the state that matches your task, instead of choosing the task that matches your state.

When this dawned on me, I realized that I didn’t have to be held prisoner by whatever energy or emotion I happen to be in. So from now on, I choose what I feel like. Or at least that’s what I’m aiming for.

Want to try it with me?….I dare you!

And leave a comment below to let me know how it goes or tell us how your states are affecting what you do in your day.

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You might also like these:

1. The Myth of “I don’t feel like it” (Part 2)
2. What’s Colouring Your World?
3. Secret Fuel to Overthrow Temptation